Post-buffering feeling of negative emotions


Hi Brooke and Coaches –

My impossible goal this year was to stop binge eating…and I’m making really good progress! Now, when I have thoughts that lead to negative emotions I either don’t even have the urge to buffer with food, or I have the fleeting thought that maybe food would help but then manage my mind and end up not wanting the food afterall. So that is success as far as I’m concerned!

The thing is…now that I can’t use food to buffer from the emotion, I’ve noticed that the negative emotion is coming on more often and its pretty intense. I’m noticing thoughts and feelings of frusteration, sadness, insecurity from multiple areas in my life, so since its a trend I also know this is something deep in how I’m thinking about various things in my life that I’m perceiving in a negative way. At first I was scrambling to do lots of thought downloads and models each day to switch the negative thoughts into more productive thoughts, but honestly it was a lot of models and I was spending quite a bit of time daily on the thought downloads and modeling. After over a week of this pattern, I noticed that my brain was thinking that I’m exhausted and can’t keep up all this modeling daily. I’m trying to switch from doing models on specific negative thoughts I’m having about relationships and my career, to finding a productive thought that will help me find some peace in this process of rewiring my brain to thrive without buffering.

I’d appreciate some help on my models, since I can’t quite find a thought that will bring me peace about the negative emotions I’m now feeling that binge eating is off the table. My IM attempts seem to make me more upset than my UM. Help!

UM
C: Set impossible goal to stop binge eating.
T: Now that I’ve made progress towards my impossible goal, I’m left with the side effect of lots of negative thoughts.
F: Defeated
A: Begrudingly do thought work.
R: Either make slower progress on impossible goal, or go back to binge eating to avoid the onslaught of negative feelings

IM Attempt
C: same
T: I am working towards finding a way to accept these negative thoughts and feelings.
F: Doubtful
A: Stop trying to figure it out (because of the doubt)
R: Don’t meet impossible goal.

Another IM Attempt
C: same
T: I feel bad all the time and that is part of the process.
F: Angry (because I spin into another model about how the process shouldn’t be this way)
A: Act out of reactive anger. Stop making decisions that will help me move towards my impossible goal and a healthy thought life (ie stop sleeping because I’m so worked up at night).
R: Stop making progress towards impossible goal. Ruin/strain my relationships.

Thanks for your thoughts!