I’ve made such progress with increasing my awareness of my thoughts and managing my feelings, but the torture my brain inflicts on me after I present doesn’t seem to be getting better. It’s not content-heavy presentations, it’s things like welcoming remarks or today, when we had our staff holiday party and as the boss, I had to provide end-of-year inspirational thoughts. I guess I’m really convinced that I’m just no good in those situations. And then I create that… My model now that it’s over is:
UIM
C: Addressing staff at party
T: They could see that my hand holding the microphone was shaking, no one said anything to me about it afterwards so it must have been really bad
F: humiliated, self-loathing
A: beat myself up, buffer, avoid staff tomorrow
R: I’m bad to myself (?)

Could you help me with a new intentional thought/model? I’m not able to believe that it was amazing or even that it all happened perfectly. I think my main goal now is to have ‘don’t beat myself up’ in the A line. Thank you.