I am working on my thoughts related to physical intimacy with my husband. As a little background, I have had 3 babies in the last 5 years, breastfed them all for a year, and have had changes in my mind and body related to motherhood. My sex drive is lower than it used to be. My husband’s love language is physical touch and he places a high level of importance on intercourse to feel connected to me. I can identify with many of the love languages, but physical touch is lowest on my list and therefore it takes real effort for me to understand this. Please help me with this model. What advice do you have for changing my thoughts around intercourse? If I repeat the positive thoughts as a mantra, they will take hold?? Thanks.

C: mutually dissatisfying sex life post babies
T: I’m too physically and emotionally drained for sex. I don’t enjoy sex. there’s something wrong with me. my body looks bad/feels different.
F: frustrated, pressured, fearful of losing husband’s love (due to this being his primary love language), disconnected
A: withdrawing, beating myself up, turning down opportunities for sex
R: less frequent sex–> compounding the mutually dissatisfying sex life

new model:
C: mutually dissatisfying sex life post babies
T: I enjoy sex. My husband loves me.
F: Excited to connect.
A: more frequent sex
R: sex life becomes more satisfying