Q: why am I afraid to commit to relationships?

C- started talking to someone new online, in less than a week he said he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend and we hadn’t even met in person yet
T- this is moving too fast
F- pressure (to make a decision before feeling ready)
A- voiced my opinion that I felt like things were moving faster than I felt comfortable
R- I ended up ghosting/blocking him

Since about a year ago when I had a bad break up with my ex, I actively wasn’t looking to date, and had just been focusing on myself. Recently I’ve become open to the idea of dating again, but still haven’t been going out of my way to find someone. Then about 2 weeks ago someone randomly added me on Snapchat. We started messaging/talking on the phone and seemed like we had an effortlessly easy flowing connection. About 4 days into talking he said he didn’t want anyone else but me, that I was different from other girls, and wife material.

While that is very flattering, this isn’t the first time a guy has told me that, and I don’t feel comfortable committing without feeling like I really know someone (although we did get along well and didn’t have a reason to say no, just didn’t feel ready).

Then my brain started to try to find all the reasons he may not be an ideal choice. He was living with his family for the time being, wasn’t working much, and had lots of free time to talk on the phone for hours and hours. Meanwhile I had things to do, but felt bad saying I couldn’t talk. I could tell how happy he was thinking he found someone amazing, and I felt like me not wanting to talk all the time would dampen the mood.

I did voice my feelings about moving too fast, and was always the one to end the conversation because I had things to do.

Since he lives 5 hours away I was planning on visiting him that weekend (9 days after we first started talking). Since I felt too pressured by the thought of him wanting to ask me out, and me not feeling as certain about it as he did, I ended up blocking.  I didn’t feel like I knew how to deal with it.

At first I felt like it was the right decision, but a few days later I started feeling really bad about what I did. Especially with everything we had talked about, with him having fear of abandonment and me promising to always communicate with him.

I did try to reach out and apologize for disappearing but got no response, which I do understand. But I do feel like I took our connection for granted, and question whether I dodged a bullet of red flags with him “love bombing”, or if it could’ve possibly turned into something great. I’ve heard that if something doesn’t feel like a “hell yes” then it’s a “hell no” and it wasn’t feeling like a “hell yes” for me.

Similar situations have happened to me multiple times. Guys will say I’m different from other girls, and I feel like they want to take ownership of me, and take me off the market as soon as possible without actually putting time into getting to know each other more.

I am wanting to figure out how I can prevent this again in the future, and what I may possibly be doing to cause them to act that way, even though I just try to be myself.
Thank you!!