powerful moment

So I listened to the negativity podcast and loved it! Thanks for that.
Then I did the homework to that podcast and asked a few friends what they think are my positive and negative areas.
They nailed it! haha
So to sum it up:
One of them said that she thinks I have a hard time giving the people a change and seeing their point of view. I always jump to conclusions and am pissed when they do something I don’t like. when a situation comes up I try to think and explain my brain what the other person might be thinking or why she is doing what she’s doing and I am at that point where I can calm myself down. But then when something happens after a day or a week. I’m going to explode in seconds and will go right to the first moment. and unpack all the things she did.
So my problem is not that I don’t want to believe the good things but that the negative things are heaviest.

Plus in my head if I were to believe only the good things about her I feel like out of control, like a fool, a naive fool. Like I am being taking advantage of…

Example was our girls weekend where she just got on the phone with another friend for more than 30 minutes. I successfully calmed myself down but one week later she did something else and I exploded.

Do you have any good advice on that?

Thank you so much.