Hi Brooke,

I made that term up because I couldn’t find another word for it. But just had a thought that seemed empowering to me. I tend to have a lot of stories around people and events. For example, there’s some conflict brewing at work and I see myself getting involved in the drama around it, thoughts like that person shouldn’t do that, that person should do that, etc. That obviously gets me nowhere. Then I had a thought, what if I just based everything I do/say on the facts and leave the drama/story out of it? This might be really good practice for me since its such a different way to be in the world for me. (I have stories about everything, especially what others should and shouldn’t do.) Do you recommend this?

Here’s a quick model around this situation at work.

C: Conflict with product manager about a design direction I’m working on.
T: Stay fact based, stand behind my design and the rationale behind it
F: Fear/anxiety
A: Stay Calm during discussions with the team, calmly present my design ideas. Don’t back down just because of my fear/anxiety and feelings of intimidation
R: Respect from the team, my design may or may not win but I will know I gave it my best shot and stayed 100% professional

(My real desired outcome is to have my design win, not because I want it to win just to win, but because I think it will be the best design for our users.)