Practicing my thoughts with family

Hi Brooke!
This is not a question but I wanted to share some progress (and some challenges!) I’ve had since I was coached live in December.

I had asked about how to deal with my Grandma who I kept getting into fights with over things she would say (or rather my thoughts about the things she says/does). Just 2 weeks after I talked to you I got into a big fight with her and had a few days by myself over Christmas to process it and something just clicked. I was able to feel a whole new level of empathy for my family in a way I never had before. I asked myself “What if they’e not acting how I think they are? What if their actions are neutral?” and started seeing how my hurt only continued the problems of my family. I decided that I wanted to be the one to stop being hurt over things and just let things go and show my family love as much as I could….Progress!!! 🙂 We smoothed things over a few days later and things have been going well since….

Until today! Her and I got into a fight again. Again over my thoughts about her actions. And it sucked. I felt terrible for losing my cool and allowing myself to get emotionally upset and for letting it affect me the rest of the day. As I sit with it now I am trying to focus on the idea that my thoughts and reaction in that moment was just optional. And that it may take a lot of practice- and perhaps a long time – before I get really skilled at not reacting in the moment. But knowing that it’s optional is comforting. Knowing that it’s optional is giving me a light at the end of a long, dark, painful tunnel that I’ve been trudging through for a long time.