I’ve realized this week that the reason I’ve never gotten down to my ideal weight is because I’ve used overeating as a way not to deal with the sexual abuse in my past. The extra weight I’ve carried has acted as a sort of armor to keep people out. So, I’m starting to deal with it a little bit every day.
As I start to do thought downloads and run models, I realize that I would like to share some of this with my boyfriend. He has been very patient and supportive in our relationship, so I think it would be so great for me (and for us!) not to hide this.
To me this is not a casual conversation, but something that I will plan for in advance. I would like to get to a place where…
—I have no attachment to his response. He gets to respond how he responds and take the time he needs to think about things
–Where I’m able to start an ongoing conversation, rather than falling to pieces and scaring him away from future conversation
–Where I show up as vulnerable, but not as a victim
–I can ask for what I need from him (his support, patience, etc) and allow him to ask what he needs from me
What’s the best way to start thinking about and putting together thoughts about this conversation? What are some questions I can be asking myself in advance to wrap my head around all of this? When do I know I’m ready to have this conversation?
As always, I appreciate the help. Thanks for making this such a safe place to ask hard questions!