Preferences & “Chemistry”

Hey Brooke,
I love the model and use it all the time with myself and with clients. As I’ve listened to your podcasts and read Self-Coaching 101 and viewed the webinar here, there is still something that doesn’t sit right with me, and I’d love your perspective. How does the model apply to preferences because it SEEMS like I was born with preferences. As a simple example, I prefer apples to peaches. In theory, according to The Model, I should be able to change my thoughts so that I like peaches (not that it would necessarily serve me any better, but just for the sake of argument), right? But where do preferences come from?

Where I really get hung up is when it comes to men and finding a partner. In theory, (right?) if I apply the model and practice enough, I should be able to change my thinking so that I fall in love with whomever I want to. Here’s an example. There was this guy who liked me for a long time, and it would’ve been mighty nice and convenient if I liked him, too, because we’re the same age, have friends in common, like some of the same things, but when we kissed? Blech. NO FIRE. No chemistry. He was a super nice guy and many times I wished that I could fall for him because I’d like to have a partner, etc. etc. but there was no physical chemistry. In theory, I should be able to change my thinking so that I fall in love with him? Really? It seems like this ignores what we are drawn to naturally. What do you think?