Pregnancy and an Infertile Friend

A good friend of mine is asking me not to announce my pregnancy until after her baby shower next month. Unfortunately, she struggles with infertility – but she did just adopt a baby girl (which is great news)! I’m so happy for her.

She told me, “I want just really want to have MY time and I know that may sound selfish but it’s most likely the only shower I will have.”

So my thoughts are:

  • Her feelings are valid for her. I want to understand where she is coming from.
  • I feel confused. I don’t understand how someone else’s baby has anything to do with hers? Or the baby shower ? I feel like she should be so focused on her baby to even care about anyone’s announcement? My baby shouldn’t take anything away from hers.
  • I would never ask someone to hold in their news for my own sake. I will never understand a request like that BUT I also want to be a good & supportive friend.

If I’m being completely honest, I feel like her request is a bit ridiculous and selfish. And I think she would greatly benefit from Scholars to understand my pregnancy has nothing to do with the thoughts she is choosing to think. Someone else’s pregnancy announcement shouldn’t effect her. This seems very “lack mindset” versus adundant. Every baby is a blessing and a miracle in my opinion.

Can you give me advice on how to reply to her?
Thank you.