Help with my model ……. New story—
Threes couples are old-time friends, Mary called me to tell me she fell that other morning and was in the hospital and was waiting her turn to have her broken leg operated on. She had asked me to call our other friend Judy and let her know because her cell phone’s battery is getting low, I agreed.
Before receiving Mary’s call, Judy had called to tell me she had fallen, though she didn’t know if she was home or in the hospital etc. I called Judy with the updated news and agreed I would keep her informed as I knew.
Early afternoon I got a text Mary was in her room and all went good so I called Judy only to find out she had known because she called the husband at home and then started their supper instead of calling me with an update first. I didn’t say anything about it at the time but I sensed my body tighten up, this was upsetting to me, I was hurt. The call was ended on the note when either of us heard more we would let the other know. After I hung up I sensed a slow steam escaping, I was pissed and my passive-aggressive behavior kicked in. “I will show her, I will be darned if I call her with any more updates, I well show her”! …
Before I give the model I worked up, I wanted to say that I was having trouble starting with the C line because I kept going to different models with different thoughts. I wanted to use both my feeling of being ticked off/angry and the action of the cold shoulder or my passive-aggressive behavior. I found it worked better for me if I started with the F and A. … I am waiting for feedback …
C. Judy didn’t call with Mary’s medical update
T “What the___? She knew Mary was out of surgery and all went good and I wasn’t good enough to be told!” “She knew and didn’t have the decency to let me know.”
F. Ticked off/angry offended felt used
A. My passive aggressive behavior kicked in wanting to give her the cold shoulder. I am not calling her with any more information.
R. I recognized the Primal Thought, my belief. Which I think is that our tribe works together so we can survive. I am not part of the tribe any longer, I must not be a value to them.
The primal thoughts, belief doesn’t serve me any longer. I don’t need others to tell me or give me value, My value comes from the inside out, I have value. I am a good loyal friend etc. Is there a place to learn more about Primal Thoughts from Brooke’s teaching?
The result I want is to choose love, loving behavior because that is who I am and the way I wanted to be treated. I don’t want to react, have a knee jerk reaction of defending myself.