problem turning my relationship model into a intentional one

Hi. I am following the weight loss program since June but do feel there are a lot of negative emotions linked with my relationships. We are together 20 years as companions in a busy place. We have busy jobs we would like to change, we are thinking about changing countries (we are expat). I feel very restless about trying to act in this period and am afraid that (as it happened before) I will start moving forward by myself and he will follow (where we move, what we do). And then I am frustrated by that.

So we do fight because he is very busy with work, which I understand. But I do believe we need to put “sharing and moving forward together” as a priority. I do feel we miss something regarding sharing, being on a same level of willing to share, sharing mental charge of the day to day tasks. I feel that we love each other, have future plans together and I do see him in my future self life! However, I miss today the “how” of getting there; finding the energy, the patience, and the compassion from my side.

My unintentional model:

T: not available because of work
T: but it should be our priority!
E: frustration
A: arguing, fighting
R: not moving to discussion

Any help for how to get a bit around with love and compassion? I would like to apply this! Thanks.