Processing Pregnancy Grief

I got coached with Mindy today and she was amazing. I learned that my real impossible goal is to be a mom vs be pregnant.

I do have another question though that I would love some more help on.

I feel silly for grieving that I might not be able to get pregnant because I have only been actively “trying” for a few months now. Although I have been working on overcoming health challenges related to this for two years. A part of me wants to grieve this method for being a mom now. I feel like it would help me feel more at peace due all the pressure and worry due to my health history and concerns/doubts doctors have had recently about me being able to conceive. Another part of me tells me that I should just be positive because it has only been two months and I could get pregnant this month for all I know and it would be dumb to grieve something that is not a for sure thing yet and it is a waste of time and people will think you are crazy for grieving something you don’t know for sure yet and I should just live in the present more.

Pretty much I am caught in a shame cycle about grief. Every time I let myself grief I feel so dumb and ashamed for feeling like I need to grieve right now and I should just really be patient.

I am having a hard time coaching myself through these two opposite ideas my brain is having. Help!?