Procrastination — or is something else?


I often speak harshly to myself about my procrastination. My best friend tells me I do more than most people, but the things I’m doing are not visible to others, and I’m being unfair to myself. For instance, I read more books and listen to more podcasts than most people, and like to learn and figure things out and explain what I’ve learned. I also earn a good income (been promoted or found better job nearly yearly for the last eight years). I have a standard in my head that I should have a bigger, cleaner house, do more work in the morning rather than the evening, do more errands and chores during the week, and lose weight. I have a conflicting thought that none of those are as important as continuing to learn , read, and think, and that I do my best work in the evening anyway. I think what is happening is that I have two sets of conflicting values (“be a morning person, own an impressive home, be fit, be visibly successful” and “work on your own schedule, be comfortable, enjoy food and reading, don’t worry about others”), and I don’t how to resolve them.