Pushing kids limits and unconditional love

Hi there! I just started SCS after a few years of listening to the podcast with my husband and i have to admit that there is a huge difference between listening and applying! 🙂 it is awesome, fills me with energy and enthusiasm and also gives me plenty of opportunities to recognize how MUCH i have to retrain my brain in almost every subject! My question is regarding unconditional love. I understand that it means to recognize that we are all good enough the way we are and therefore accepting others the way they are, and that it is only about us changing our thoughts about them. When i can understand this for, let’s say my MIL :-), i wonder how you apply that to your kids. Even if i do love them unconditionally, sometimes i also need to push their limits and challenge their attitudes. How is that accepting that as they are? Let’s say C: Son does not want to go on hikes and prefer to sit on the coach T: he is lazy and he does not pushes himself A: frustrated, annoyed with son R: bad relationship, more desire to stay on the coach
Intentional: T: he is entitled to his preferences and dont make it mean something about him, however i believe this is important so i wont make it a choice for him A: patience and acceptation R: better relationship.
Hiking in family is important to me, being outside in nature is something I BELIEVE in very important for MY kids education (not saying everybody has to believe it, but it is important to me and my husband), so I want him to participate. Let’s not focus on the hiking (it was the first thing which came to my mind), but rather on the fact that when you educate kids, you have to make choices FOR them when they are young, you want to teach them values and rules and sometimes challenge them and i wonder how that works with accepting them how they are. Hope you can understand my question!!! THANK you so much!