My husband wants me to massage him almost every night to put him to sleep. My husband has problems getting to sleep, has a lot on his mind, and has health issues (arthritis and spinal stenosis, etc). Lately, I have been having problems myself falling asleep when I do this for him as I am up in years, have health issues myself, and then am tight and need my own massage (haha).

He does not want to take sleeping aids and of course, I have made suggestions that could help like hot-cold showers, stretching, meditation, breathwork, not eating late at night, not looking at his phone, or TV. He has tried some of these methods but is reluctant to find something that he can do to get to sleep. It always comes down to him still wanting me to do this.

I am resenting having to do this for many reasons (I get tight, need a massage, I am tired and in bed falling asleep, and then I do this for him, no physical affection from him, BIG ONE he gets physical affection and I don’t, etc.)

Where do you suggest I start in building a model. I tend to do models to try to make decision’s and it is possible that I am doing this again even though models are for “awareness.” I am glad that I can help and I know it is a giving of my love yet I tie it into me not getting any physical affection, even just a hug when I ask.