Q about work


Hello, I have been working some models on reoccurring themes at work that come up and cause a result I do not want. I workin in HR and get a lot of employees dumping their dissatisfaction of the job, income, leader, etc on me. Essentially, anything and everything that happens at work that is a circumstance, I personalize it in my thoughts and make the situation about me; my thoughts are almost constantly that I am doing xx wrong and there is something wrong with me which leads to fear, shame guilt and isolation. These thoughts/feelings loops then lead to me taking action that is abusive to myself (eating; going off protocol, gossiping, making mountains out of molehills) with the result of me always in emotional turmoil.

C exit interview with an employee
T I’ve don’t something wrong
F fear
A eat because of my feelings I don’t understand and don’t want to feel
R go off protocol

C exit interview with an employee
T his experience working here has nothing to do with me
F neutral
A I share the feedback with appropriate stakeholders
R I have done my job

my question is how is it that I personalize everything? the nature of my job is to be a moderator and to help employees find solutions, but I often feel ineffectual and because of this, I bear the burden of so many things. I cannot fix every poor employee/leader relationship. I cannot fix everyone’s dissatisfaction with their pay; I cannot fix everyone’s dissatisfaction with systems, perceived executive greed (this list goes on), and yet, I feel like I am a failure if I cannot do be useful to people; it is part of my job description.

thanks for any insight you can provide