Question 5 & 6 Of October HW

I know this keeps coming up in questions but I just started this work yesterday for written and plan on cleaning out my bedroom closet tomorrow!! Yay! I really want to get the most out of this month as I know it has the potential to be life-changing for me. What is the true purpose of this question? I think you mentioned thought finders. But today when I do it. I have the same negative circumstances I want to write which makes me feel like I’m a victim. I don’t want to even think of them this way as I feel I have chosen to think that is exactly how it was supposed to be and exactly what has made me who I am and was perfect just the way it is.

Is it because I still don’t believe that yet? I feel like I’ve been working to dive deep into letting go forever. But can I actually let it go? How do you do that truly? What does that look like? I want to go back to my childhood and I see when a negative circumstance (in this case my brain thinks it is) I would actually “see” myself have this thought (maybe I was a watcher of my mind when I was a child and didn’t even know it) I would not talk about it.  I’d see myself putting that negative thought or circumstance in a box in my brain and lock it with a key – as if I never had to think about it again. I think I realize now I was avoiding feeling the emotion of panic or if someone would find out what my family life really was. I had shame and embarrassment. How do you let that go?

This is done, over and yet I’m still thinking this and I can see that I avoid a lot of stuff – finances, a little clutter that piles each week even tho I clear it, just other stuff in general and also buffering with other stuff like business … this all related.  I really want to get this because I really want to move on and clean it ALL up. I want to let it all go. Does that mean I still think of it as negative or It’s completely neutral which basically it is?