Question about loving your circumstances before you change them (how deep does it go?!)


Hi there!

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around your recommendation that we learn to love a circumstance before we change it, particularly as it relates to thoughts around personal preferences.

Does learning to love a circumstance mean accepting it exactly as is and not working to “improve” it based on what I decide I want? Or am I misunderstanding this concept?

For example, let’s say I move someplace with very cold winters and I have a personal preference for warm weather. Let’s say I commit to loving my new location and part of my plan for doing so is by having a 2nd home somewhere warm. Do you think it’s important that I work on my thoughts around “I hate the cold” before taking action to change my circumstance by buying a 2nd home, even if I’m ok with my preference for warm weather?

Or as a second example:

Let’s say I’m working a job that I dislike because I find it boring.

I could find ways to be happier at my current job by seeking out opportunities to use my brain in new ways at my job (say, picking up extra projects or learning a new skill or making offers to do things aligned with my broader career goals)…but would doing so technically be “changing my circumstance” because I am technically picking up different work instead of learning to change my thought around the work I am currently doing?

Because sure, I could try to learn to love doing data entry…but why would I do that, when I also have the option of learning to love my job in its totality by taking on new work that I perceive as interesting and challenging because of my thoughts?

When you talk about learning to love your circumstances before you change them, are you also referring to preference we have and accept (which, I understand, are caused by our thoughts)? And if so, why?