I listened to Kara’s session yesterday about money. I found several points to take to my self-coaching.

As I was working on my thoughts about her statement “money is easy” and her question “How does that feel?” here’s what came up:

My future self answered that it felt: certain, sure, comfortable, steady, sufficient, abundant, empowering, confident. I then went into feeling the vibration in my body. Initially, it felt like a buzzing in my chest, a “nervous energy” of sorts. Then as I sat with that vibration, it went off the rails. It nearly took over my body, increasing in intensity. This vibration seemed to take on a “panicked” feeling.

What surprised me is that it started as a feeling that served me and would have been seen as productive but then quickly went negative. I don’t see that the latter vibrations would be useful, and they certainly didn’t line up with the future me’s feelings (sure, comfortable, etc). I continued to sit with it, letting it be. I survived (ha!)

Since this is the first time I recall something like this happening, I don’t know what to make of it other than just staying curious.

My thoughts about it:
I can survive the feeling of panic.
I’m either confused or uncertain about the thought that generated this feeling.
Why am I choosing to be confused about panic? Because confusion is covering over a different feeling: fear.

Why do I feel fear (about the feeling of panic)? I don’t believe my future self really thinks money is easy.

Money *can* be easy. Money *will* be easy. But money *is not* easy. And the span between *is not* and *can be* doesn’t seem passable to me.

Unintentional Model:

C: Coach said “Money is easy”
T: Money is not easy
F: Fear
A: Nothing! Paralyzed in action. Not making offers. Shaming/judging self.
R: Not seeking or creating evidence that money can be easy.

Intentional Model:

C: Coach said “Money is easy”
T: Money can be easy.
F: Possibility
A: Give self space/time to consider and believe it. *Not* focus on money. Work independent of money. No urgency.
R: Allowing the possibility that money can be easy.

As I reflect on the intentional model, what comes up is that I am working on my coaching practice though have no income generated to date from it. Not focusing on money from the feeling of possibility seems like a good thing, yet I also want to believe Brooke when she says you should want to make money as a coach (I know I’m paraphrasing…it was in her August call or the VIP call this month).