Question about my relationship

Hi, I have a question about my relationship. I have a boyfriend, and we’ve been living together for almost four years. I love him dearly, and I thought for some time that he was the love of my life.

Lately however I realized that we’re quite different on some aspects. I feel excited a lot about my life and my future. I enjoy the things in my life a lot, especially since I’ve been interested in coaching. Excitement and joy is an emotion I feel quite often.

For him, actually, that’s not the case. For example, we talked about having a baby in a couple of years. I started to be very excited about the idea to build a family together, but I noticed he never talks about it. I asked him why, and he said that he feels stress when he thinks about this idea. I’m worrying that in a couple of years, he will just back off.

Another case is when I had the idea of studying abroad. He said that it was too complicated for him, but I could go if I wanted to. I’m not sure I love this idea of having a long-distance relationship, so I actually think that if I want to do that, I will have to leave him. That makes me sad.

I don’t want to leave him because I love him, but I sometimes feel that in order to live the beautiful life I want, I have to. When I think that, I create a disconnection between us, and that makes it even more plausible that I will leave him. Do you have any advice for me?

Thank you!