Question about the example model in the Self Coaching 101 Booklet

I have a question about this model from the Self Coaching 101 Booklet:

CIRCUMSTANCE She did not show up on time.
THOUGHT She does not respect me.
FEELING Angry, sad, rejected.
ACTION Act passive aggressive. Make snide comments.
RESULT Less respect from her.

How can her respect or lack of it be caused by passive aggressive action or snide comments? I thought only HER THOUGHTS could make her respect or disrespect someone and not their behavior? Why does being “passive aggressive” or making “snide comments” result in less respect from her? If you can’t make someone respect you through your actions how can you make them disrespect you?