I set a goal with my husband regarding debt. We have an impossible goal for 2021 to pay off all our debt. We can do this by selling our house and debt snowball our debt until it sells. My drama comes up with the fact that for a whole year I will have to be very intentional about where we spend out money. I hate having to say no to my husband and family. We definitely have a mindset that money is what enables us to do fun things as a family. I know this is not true but my husband definitely sees it this way. We both want the result of debt payoff but I am unsure that we have it in us to feel uncomfortable with constraint. Even though I know long term constraint now leads to freedom later.

The thoughts that keep coming up revolve around me saying no to wishes and that it will make him sad that he works so hard and can’t do anything with his hard earned money. I especially feel guilt because I recently spent 18k on education and where do I have the right to say no to something that is 500 or even 100?

C: Husband asks for us to budget item
T: I hate having the uncomfortable feeling when I say it’s not the best use of our money because he will also be sad.
F: reluctant
A: Avoid the budget conversation; not see his point of view; if we do talk I am sheepish; think I can control his emotions; not having my own back in what I signed up for as the budget keeper.
R: I am creating more uncomfortable feelings.