On Monday this week I made a decision to invest in a 6 month mastermind for 10k. I have paid a 5k deposit and had 1 session.

I have also have a constant headache this week basically 24/7 (it has been affecting my ability to sleep). I thought that perhaps something is wrong with me, I tried taking meds, taking some sleeping pills, having a massage but it’s still there.

Tonight I started to question whether it’s a trauma response from signing up to the mastermind.

When I had my consult I was very upset, at a low with belief in myself and my business results. I made the decision to commit from lack and doubt.

Now I’m having thoughts that once again I’ve wasted my money. I already have other programs that I don’t use and should be focusing on these rather than changing my C.

I haven’t been honest with my husband about joining the mastermind and spending the money. Feeling a lot of shame and guilt.

I have just checked the terms and there are no refunds so I have to follow through now.

I have to look at all the reasons why this is the best thing for me and will help move me forward.

I don’t believe that people will pay me or that I will earn my investment back – but I know that thought is a self fulfilling prophecy.

I am finding the headaches debilitating and can’t think clearly. I want to talk to the coach and explain this to her but with her clear no refund policy (which I realised after signing) I feel like there is no point raising this and I have to commit, double down and keep going.