Questioning what I thought was my "true calling."


Is it really possible to think your way into loving your work, even if it might not be “right” for you? I ask because I really want to love my work. After many years of struggle and commitment, I’ve achieved some success as an artist and have lots of opportunities on the horizon. I want to feel excited and grateful, but the process of actually making art has become torturous and tedious. I’m already 47 (I was a late bloomer) and to quit doing this now, right when I’ve got a good career going, seems absurd. I’ve been doing a lot of thought work on this, try to cultivate feelings of interest in my own work, but I have this nagging feeling that I’m fighting a losing battle with my soul which demands to be free. Do you believe in a “soul’s desire” type of thing that we ignore at our own peril? Or do you think that we can find love and meaning in something just because we decide to?