questions about the manual & intentional/unintentional models


Hi Brooke,
On a recent call, I heard you talk about your 18-year-old son’s desire to get a tattoo and your stance of telling him he is not allowed to do that or if he does he will be cut off from any financial support from you. This is confusing to me regarding concepts like “the manual.”

Obviously, I have no dog in this hunt regarding whether or not your son should or shouldn’t be allowed to get a tattoo, but my confusion is that if I am trying to apply the principles you teach to my life, as I look in at this situation you describe it seems like you are implementing controlling behavior. I am thinking thoughts like, “Controlling behavior is not okay.” “Controlling behavior is the forcing of my manual onto someone else.” “It’s not right of me to impose my manual on someone else.”

Again, obviously none of my business with regard to your son and his tattoo desires and your stance of no tattoos allowed, but if I were in a similar situation with my own son, I would be questioning my stance and whether or not I was requiring him to follow my manual for him regarding his own body. What am I missing about the concept of the manual?
Thanks,
Yvette
P.S. One other question, I’m new to Self Coaching Scholars and I keep hearing the term intentional model versus unintentional model. What do those two designations mean exactly? Thanks!