Questions on allowing urges

I’ve been working on allowing urges with sweets. We generally don’t have sweets in our house because they aren’t part of our protocol, 9 years ago I changed my diet due to pre-diabetes and just decided that food would no longer be a daily part of our diet. I have had binging issues when we’ve brought home the rare treat, so I always felt a little scared of this addiction and what it could mean to my health.

I’m sitting here with a bag of candy for the kids for Christmas trying to allow the urge to binge on it, and I keep forgetting to focus on the urge. I’m just moving on to other things without it driving me crazy. Should I be forcing myself to sit and stare at the candy wanting to want it and feeling that feeling? Can I still put a marble in the urge jar even if I am forgetting to feel the urge constantly?

Secondly, we eat out a few times a month and historically I have always just allowed myself to have whatever I want to eat on those occasions. Is having that generic “eat what you want” rule going to derail any progress I am making with urges? Do I need to be more specific with the eating out plan for those “joy eats” to be a useful part of resolving my over desire for sweets?

I know there’s a science behind the urge jar method and I don’t want to short myself out of success with this, thank you for your insight!