C- child says “NO MOM! I’m not going to do that”
T- It isn’t okay for my child to talk to me with so much disrespect
F- Frustrated
A- yell at him, stir in negative emotions about him and my ability to help him. create more of a manual for him, try to fix him in a way that requires him to change. tell my child he has to complete the task I asked him to do, or else I will come up with a consequence for him. talk to my husband and try to come up with new ways of parenting and question if i’m doing things ‘right’.
R- ?? disrespect my child

I’m not sure how to identify the result. I believe it is supposed to reflect the thought? Each time I try to identify the R line, I seem to come up with more A line.

I put “disrespect my child” for the R line because I had disrespect in the thought line. I realize that I have layering thoughts about the R line when i use the word “disrespect” because I felt justified in trying to hold my boundaries, and my thought is that I was serving him in the long run for trying to teach him to respect me. Although, that is a completely different model, I feel like I am stirring in thoughts which are preventing me from being able to complete just one model. Can you help me to work through this one model and identify any changes I could make in any of the steps?