** This is just answering the follow up questions to the following post **
With all this new awareness, what does having your own back look like now? What might it look like as you continue to offer your price to clients in the future?
Having my own back looks like recognizing my thought errors, awareness that what my brain says isn’t always true, that negative emotion may come up, but I am totally able to handle it. It looks like believing in myself and my price, honoring other’s opinion of it as well as my own, allowing people to think whatever they want about it, continue to cultivate love, compassion for my brain and other people’s brains.
As I continue to offer my price to clients in the future, it can look like deciding how and when I let clients pay, making decisions around a range I am okay with, and allowing all the feelings but holding my hand through it.
** previous post below this line **
CI went through CCP with one of my coach friends and she said she would love me to coach her sister. I set up the consult call with her sister and we hit it off really well. She’s awesome! When she said Okay! How do I pay you? I said I will send her an invoice. When I started filling out the invoice and typed in my price for 12 weeks of coaching ($3000) – I had so much drama about it! I noticed my brain saying “she’s going to think that is so much. she’s going to be mad at me for charging her my regular price because I am a friend. I should probably give her a discount or she might think it should be way less. if I charge less, then I won’t feel good because I am trying to control other people’s feelings and not charging what I believe is the right price for my coaching. I have to see her at our weekly coach meeting, she will be mad and not talk to me”. Now, this is completely not true – I know that for a fact. She is very nice. I ended up sending the invoice and told my brain we are open to a conversation should it arise, but I don’t think it will. She is 100% into coaching and has paid for certification and many many other coaching ventures. And I am curious why that felt so icky filling that out.
She’s going to be mad – why? Because (I think) she will think I am charging her too much. Why is that a problem? Because then I make it mean I should have charged less and I am a bad friend. On the flip side – I think my coaching is absolutely worth $3000 dollars and many people have loved coaching and paid for it no questions asked!
C: Filling out an invoice for $3000 for 12 weeks of coaching
T: she will think I am a bad friend
F: fear
A: fill out the invoice with several different prices, try on the one that seems “right” to charge, focus on what I think she would want me to charge, not listen to myself and what I want to charge, try to control her thoughts and feelings using an arbitrary number, wait to send her the invoice until the morning, worry about seeing her face to face and what she might say, imagine scenarios in my head where she doesn’t talk to me or she’s mad I sent her the invoice with that price, play out scenarios where I then judge myself and beat myself up for sending an invoice with that price
R: I experience being a bad friend only because I am judging myself ahead of time because of my thoughts.
R: I make myself a bad friend in my mind.
Exploring more questions – do I think would she ask me to coach her sister and not expect to pay? I don’t think so. I think she would be well aware of the price and be willing to pay money. What number would be the “right” number? There isn’t one – My brain says $5k is “actually too much money” and $2k is “actually too little” for 12 weeks. It’s just interesting to me how some numbers are “no-brainers” and there is a point where it starts to “get murky” my brain says.. but it’s because what *I* believe about the price – other people may not. Some people might think that’s a total steal, some people might think that’s way too much. But that doesn’t matter really, what matters is what I think about it. And I like my reasons for this price and I can have my own back offering this price.
How does my model look? I am working on filling out my models more.
ANSWER:
Great work on your crystal clear model, Scholar! Another possible result is that you’re being a bad friend to yourself by not having your own back with your unintentional thought, feeling, and actions.
But you’re totally on to yourself! As you explored each thought you were able to debunk so many thought errors and, ultimately, determine that you like your reasons for choosing the price you did. With all this new awareness, what does having your own back look like now? What might it look like as you continue to offer your price to clients in the future?
