My husband cheated on me (emotional cheating) for almost a decade (which equals 50% of the time we’ve been married). When I say cheated I specifically mean having intimate emotional relationships with several women, but more so with one specific woman for 8+ years. Overall, he’s a great guy towards me (extremely attentive, caring, sacrificial, 100% provider type financially speaking, etc.). Unfortunately, he has a problem with telling the truth in general (compulsive lying) and I never know when I’m being lied to even if it’s little things for the most part. I’ve said everything I’ve needed to say to him (sharing my hurt/pain etc.), but the little lies continue. I catch him lying/ confront him in a neutral way and he eventually admits it once he realizes he didn’t cover his tracks enough.
My Faith in God provides me so much peace and the codependency that used to exist between my husband and me is pretty much severed and healed on my end. That being said, there’s always this little hint of doubt tugging at me, reminding me that the most unbelievable thing I never thought would happen did happen in our marriage, emotional infidelity, and what if it happens again?
I truly do love and care for him. We’re best friends for the most part. We chat, cook together, play tennis, shop, have great sex, enjoy hanging out with each other. Everything is great except for the compulsive lying. I choose not to let it mean anything about me personally and I’ve gotten pretty good and ignoring his models and focusing on the result I want to create and acting accordingly. This year, I’ve doubled down on the amount of energy I’m investing into things that bring ME PERSONALLY joy, fulfillment, happiness, peace, and so far I’m happy with my results. But, the thought about what if he’s cheating on me still or again does cross my mind from time to time and I don’t like that it’s part of my reality at this time (because of the actions I’m choosing .. i.e. to stay with him and not get a divorce).
So, is that the best I can do? Any insight would be super appreciated.