Recent parenting mistake – missing events


C: I signed my daughter up for an event, I did not write it down and we missed it.
F: Anger at myself
T: I completely blew it and my mistake is going to cause her unhappiness in the future and right now.
A: When I found out she could still make it but would be late, she was immediately upset because she felt pressure to go and she broke down crying. I tried to find out what was really going on thinking there was some big dark cloud we needed to address but I think she was tired and just didn’t want to go. I also said some crappy things like: “think of all your friends going and having fun and you will miss out if you don’t go”. Talk about shitty peer pressure and from her mom of all people!
R: I decided to be the mom that would be okay with the kid who decides not to do something fun and instead just sits at home. I need to be okay with her being okay with making the decision I didn’t want her to make. However I was screaming in my mind – you can still go, you don’t have to miss this, it will be fun when you get there!
Because I’ve been in scholars for 5 months a part of me was also providing the perspective that: Things are happening for me, not to me so maybe I’ve learned the lesson I have to be on top of it, write down the dates as I’m signing up for an event. I was also telling myself that I get to choose what I think about this, part of me was so upset at myself telling myself I’m such a screw-up and I let her down, I apologized to her and told her how sorry I was that she missed this and she told me it was okay, she really is fine with her decision. After dinner, I tried to tell her we could meet up with the group later, etc. Still putting some pressure on her to ‘think’ about going and how much fun it would be.
So I could use some insight on my model and some of the loathing I have for myself and maybe I’m missing the big picture and need to change more so she doesn’t miss out because of me.