Redesigning sibling relationships

My mom died. I had a coaching call about it. My coach asked me to redefine my relationships with my siblings moving forward as this is a time of relationship change. I am working on thought downloads about how I envision each relationship to be, then create a model on how to move forward. I am confused about how to deal with changing relationships with siblings who refuse to be in touch and siblings who say they don’t want to be in a superficial relationship when it doesn’t feel superficial to me. I know Brooke said it only takes one person to change a relationship. I keep hitting a wall. I know I can’t expect to get emotional support from siblings, I need to provide it for myself. But then why even have a relationship? I keep getting confused. Maybe you can explain it in a different way that will help me move forward.