regret over giving?


Hi Brooke, thank you so much for the great money call tonight. My question is how to feel better about giving in a relationship. I was seeing someone the past 2 years and gave a ton of time, money, things and effort while we were together. The giving was not at all balanced (he rarely gave) but it never bothered me because I felt I had a lot to give and it made me happy to do, and it made him happy to receive. All was well. But then he broke up with me for no reason that I can discern, and won’t even return my things that I left at his house. Also, I loaned him a lot of money that he said he would repay but now I doubt it, since he’s ghosting me. With this turn of events I’m feeling less great about all of the unbalanced giving I did. Can you suggest some ways I could think about it that would feel better? It doesn’t feel good to think I made a mistake, nor does it feel good to think that next time, I should be more cautious and give less. That’s just not me and seems to come from fear. But I know lots of people (myself included to some extent, apparently) will tell me I “should” be more cautious next time and how I acted was a mistake. Thank you for your thoughts!