Hey Brooke,

Idk what’s going on … I feel rejected and unloved. The way my relationship with my significant other has changed (as all do and change is constant I realize that) a lot since it first started (obvi). He used to do all these amazing things cute things that no longer take place. I’m starting to feel like I put in all the effort and he doesn’t which makes me feel like couldn’t I do better? I want someone who owns shit and gets shit done. Someone who shows up everyday in our relationship. Someone who knows when I’ve had a bad day and shows up at my door with flowers rather than letting me know he’s busy with the guys and will talk to me in the morning. I feel super taken for granted. I’m supposed to move to Boston from Chicago for this person soon and I have mixed feelings about it all.
I can’t tell which of these is true:
I’m sabotaging myself. I’m finding all the wrong things about the relationship because I’m scared to move for someone who doesn’t put in the effort to come visit me. We both have the same money and time so it comes down to not being a priority in his life.
I can change my thoughts to feel like all of these things are OK. So instead of being upset about him not being there for me when I’ve had a bad day I can say I was there for myself when I had a bad day and I don’t need him to be there for those moments.
A part of me feels like I know I can do better. There is someone out there who wants to show up for our relationship every single day and wants to not only chase me, catch me, and then give up but wants to continually be excited and overly in love with me.
So I’m confused on … do I just continually change me thoughts to be ok with my the circumstances of my below par relationship or do you think I’m sabotaging myself or does any of this make sense? Lol

Thank you for any insight you can provide. Love you!