Relapse and sabatoge

Hi Brooke,

My work this year on has been on my thinking, and allowing other to think as they do. I know exactly why I do not loose weight when I don’t. I am still losing weight, but very slowly. I also recently have had a few days over eating. For the first time in a long time, I bought food I no longer eat because it has always been food that I check out mentally with (I knew exactly what I was doing when I bought it, I wanted to check out).

I am starting to question my success and if this is sustainable – like I don’t trust myself. I am smaller than I ever have been since probably 20 years. I am 20 pounds from my goal. I can see my mind getting uncomfortable. I don’t like all the attention, everyone saying I look so good. Someone also said that this weight loss may not last too. She actually said that I need to feel this good now as I am losing weight and also find a way to feel good about myself is and when the weight comes back. I have depression and anxiety that I also manage with thought work and downloads. I know the friend is referring to that.

I know my brain is looking for evidence that I will gain all of it back plus even more. I can logically understand this and think that is what my brain does and stay the course. I also feel like I will never gain the weight again. But I can’t help but wonder how many people that know your work still cannot lose weight or regain again and again.

How do I approach my last 20 pounds? Surpassing my “happy weight goal” and going for my “impossible” goal. I wonder if or why others in SCS with all this information cannot reach their impossible goal too or if they gain all their weight back. I realize this has nothing to do with me, but I can’t help but compare myself to others. Like this is not real. Do you know what my brain is doing?