Dear Brooke,

I am really embracing the model and it has given me so much peace in my life.

Now that I don’t silently resent people or events (as much), complain much less, and generally take care of myself as an emotional adult, my husband is noticing a change. I totally admit to being an emotionally immature person who was dependent on others for validity/approval for most of my adult life, and this change has been a long time coming. (I’ve done loads of therapy, workshops, yoga, reading and your work of course etc etc)

Since I am truly not getting upset about certain things due to the management of my thoughts, he thinks that I am detaching from the relationship. For example, he’s asked me if he is doing something that is making me unhappy and I’ve said things like “you truly cannot make me happy or unhappy, and I cannot make you any happier or unhappier.” I mean it in a constructive way and I truly believe it! He is a totally evolved person but I don’t think he really believes me due to my passive-aggressive past behavior.

I do think he has a “fix-it” attitude, in the past I used to complain and mope and he would immediately try and “get me to feel better.”

Any thoughts on navigating changing relationship waters?