Relationship


Hello and Happy New Year!
20 years ago, my boyfriend’s best friend became mine. We were really close and he asked me to put distance between us because he had fallen in love with me. For years we had a very superficial relationship, but I always expected to be friends again. I got married, had kids. My husband loves me, we have a beautiful life. But I dream constantly about my friend, and the emotional connection we had. My friend doesn’t want me in his life, as he thinks the closeness and attraction we share is incompatible with having a partner.

C- My friend doesn’t want me in his life
T- I am not having the same emotional connection with anyone ever again
F- Frustrated
A- I waited. I insisted. I gave up
R- I keep dreaming

I know my friend is going to do whatever he wants, we can’t control others. I know my feelings and probably my dreaming is the result of my thinking about our special relationship. I also know I am idealizing it – it doesn’t exist now, and everything is a reflection of my own needs – or what I think I need. My problem is that I am really stuck at changing my thoughts. I would appreciate some help here. Thanks!