Relationship and control

I’ve just realized that I want to control my relationship with my husband so it looks perfect to me. I’m an artist, and as a child I wanted my life to be very romantic, with a partner who would be an artist as well, and we would have a romantic relationship, share a lot about art, etc. It seems like I beat myself up because our relationship doesn’t look like this. I think that I have the responsibility to realize my dream.
This is not like I think I can do it. Actually I’m pretty miserable because it’s impossible and that I can’t make my husband behave the way I would like him to behave.
How to move on from this new understanding of the situation? Thank you.