I would love feedback on my models. I’ve added a thought download for context. I notice that I feel insecure and often wonder and worry if my behavior is upsetting Aaron. I felt the need to ask him if I upset him. Some thoughts about this:

I don’t cause his thoughts or feelings

Trying to alter my behavior to make him happy is people-pleasing

I don’t trust that Aaron will share when he has feedback for me

What does safety look like in a relationship with another human? I can create safety and security internally. I can commit to having my own back. It’s also part of my human experience to feel vulnerable and want validation that I’m loved and cared for.

Unintentional Model:
C: Aaron likes a message at 6:42 am, but doesn’t respond
T: I am needy and he’s going to leave me
F: Fear/insecure
A: Question what I did wrong, ruminate over words and text already said/sent. Overthink my behavior.
R: I create thoughts that support that I’m needy and going to be rejected.

Intentional Model:
C: Same
T: It’s okay for both of us to be imperfect and learn how to be in a relationship with one another.
F: Compassion
A: Assume best intentions; loving understanding and appreciate how we might communicate differently; inquire with curiosity.
R: Give myself and Aaron grace and compassion.