relationship manual clarity

I struggle with what I value and want from a relationship with a guy I am seeing. He does a lot of things I am not looking for, ie the manual and rules I have about the partner I wanna be with. I can see now that he, not me, is in charge of my feelings. I know I can change this (tips would be handy though), but I am not sure whether to pursue this any longer as I don’t know if I just have to many rules and a huge manual or that we just aren’t compatible. Currently I am just annoyed at every thing he does or doesn’t do, he can never get it right, which isn’t fair to him or me. So how do I know if we’re incompatible or me just wanting to control everything, outside of the actions he decided to take?