Dear Brooke,

I have been in relationship with a married man for the past two years and now wanting to get clear about my intention, actions and expected results. He has been separated from his wife for approximately 4 years and is unable/unwilling to take action to divorce or even get clear about the finances they share. He supports her financially and has all their married lives. There is no question that he is still emotionally involved with her or wants to get back together with her, that is not happening.

We have had a very dynamic and supportive relationship. He is very generous toward me and we communicate well. It’s not that I want to marry him. But I don’t feel our relationship can move toward any type of long-term while he is still married /unavailable that way. I have been applying the “let him be the way he is” mentality or “none of my business” per Byron Katie. Yet it doesn’t feel totally right to me and I find myself in limbo — not cutting it off with him and not really progressing either. Is there some piece I’m missing? Is it my “programming” that says this type of relationship is not to be pursued, even though the essence of it has been pretty good?

Thanks for your great work…