Looking for some feedback on the following models regarding my relationship::

Unintentional Model 1:
C: Partner exists
T: I am wasting my time
F: hopeless
A: I start arguments, I don’t show up how I want to in the relationship
R: I waste my own time

Intentional Model:
C: Partner exists
T: I have the option to stay or leave
F: Empowered
A: I show up how I want to, I focus on myself rather than him
R: I ensure I am okay regardless if I stay in the relationship or leave it

Unintentional Model 2
C: Relationship exists
T: This is never going to work
F: Frustrated
A: Start arguments, focus all my time and energy on him and trying to “fix” the relationship, nag him about commitment
R: I don’t show up like I want the relationship to work

Intentional Model 2
C: Partner exists
T: I can make this relationship work and I only need me to do it
F: empowered
A: I focus on myself and my own well-being, I do not start arguments or nag him about commitment
R: I show up in a way that will make the relationship work

The thought “I can make this relationship work and I only need me to do it” was offered to me by a coach regarding a different model; however, I think it works here as well. I am open to practicing this thought but I am struggling to see how this thought makes sense. I recognize I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and actions but if I want the relationship to work and he doesn’t then the relationship won’t work. What am I missing here?