Relationship with my body – 2

Thank you very much for your answer.
I’ve decided to start by doing models on my thoughts.

C : Physical symptom
T : I always have something going wrong
F : Worried
A : I mentally list all the situations in which I’ve had physical symptoms lately.
I compare all the situations.
I think about all the negative consequences those symptoms had on my life.
I speak about it to my husband.
I focus on the physical symptom and ruminate about it. I complain.
R : I am letting the symptom take all the space in my body and mind. (?)
I am reducing my physical identity to these symptoms. (?)

C : Physical symptom
T : This is ruining my day
F : Anger
A : I imagine how I would feel if I didnt have all these symptoms. I consider all what I can’t do due to them. I complain. I cancel what is planned. I tell myself a really negative story about my body capacities and my life. I imagine and fear the disapointment of my husband and daughter if we cancel our plans.
R : I resist to the situation?
I am not doing anything to make my day better.

C : Physical symptom
T : This is too often
F : Anger
A : I get angry, I complain, I consider how these symtoms are affective my personnal and professionnal life. I feel resentment towards people who seem to feel good in their body. I stop doing the rituals that usually help me (meditation, coaching, walking…)
R : I am making it harder.

By writing these models, what comes to me is that I feel like, in a way, I use that anger and worry as a protection against accepting the reality. I have the fear that If I accept the reality of what is going oin in my body, things won’t change and at the moment all I can’t think about it is “I want all this to change” and “I don’t want to feel all these symptoms anymore.”

Could you help me start unraveling this very negative story?