Relationship with Self – Q1

I wanted to be coached on how to work on building stronger relationship with my self and be fearless and from that place set out to achieve my goals. However, I am in SCS for sometime now and have been doing the work, but still stuck on single problem “Stuck with Inaction” and can’t seem to stay ‘consistent with my thoughts to generate the energy for action’. I would like to get some step by step guidance to on how to overcome my ‘stuck phase’.Below are my observations:

I understand that my relationship with my self has been poor. I have a problem with inaction. My motivation to do things keep fluctuating. I also notice, that I don’t finish what I start and tend to complicate things and find reasons why I can’t complete and justify them, this ultimately leads me to not complete a task and then I feel the relief and then guilt that again I fell back into the cycle. My boyfriend has started to give up on me because I am not applying for jobs and moving to where he is( I agreed to move where he is). I am failing to keep up commitment to move and when he comes to help me, I feel almost breathless that he is making me hurry up but I don’t have the speed and smartness to keep going. I then fight and just hide from him and the situation. I have longed for a good partner and I do think he is but my behavior is driving him away. I desire for lot of things to have a beautiful big home, family and money but then when I see the speed I am moving with I feel stuck and sometimes almost like I will never get what I desire.

I did some thought work around why I behave this way and here are my common thoughts:

Thought 1: I can’t snap out of fear or lack of motivation right away. I am doing the best I can and my journey is valuable. I may loose things on the way but this is the speed I can move with.

Thought 2: I think I am self creating the problem and giving excuses, I will loose a good guy again and may take ages to get out of this problem. It is foolish to wait for everything to fall in place.

Thought 3: I really don’t like to work, may be that’s why I am not applying for jobs

Thought 4: If I don’t work I don’t know what to do next, by choosing not to work I will become dependent and that’s is not a good idea

Like seen above, I keep having very contradictory thoughts. Any thoughts and guidance to work on this would help. Please feel free to recommend any videos/podcasts I can refer to within SCS.