Relationship with sister

C: sister said” To me you’re dead” I will have nothing to do with you
T: I think it is healthier this way and I still love my sister.
F: peace
A: find want match elsewhere, less drama, 7 yrs to do my own work and see the benefits
R: My self love is better
So mom is dying. I see sister. We need to be in communication to deal with my mom. Sister tells me I am a bad sister and bad daughter but at same time starts acting like we are now pals and complaining to me about other siblings, telling me everything about her kids….I don’t want to give the impression she can do this to me again. Part of me is enticed to jump into the gossip, bond with her as she was the oldest and like a second mom and I am sad I am losing my mom. High emotion. I want to feel safe and I don’t choose to think I am safe right now. I chose to think I am vulnerable and she is manipulative. I need better thoughts. I want to be kind I will always love my sister. I want to believe that to be kind is to keep emotional distance. I want to be a good SCS and use my new skills. I need to be strong when she ridicules me about counseling/SCS and tell me I just like to play victim and naval gaze. Trying to be my best self and she says “Thats pychobabble, who do you think you are the Dahlie ?” My mom could have another 6 months before she dies but she needs our care now 24/7. I need a strategy. I want to feel safe. I want to feel self compassion. I want my result to be that I stay in integrity and show up as my best self. I need thoughts and actions to complete this model