My sister and I have had a very strained relationship for the last 20 years. We were never really close growing up but now she seems to want to have nothing to do with me. I’ve tried talking to her, apologized for anything I did in the past that hurt her but she still does not want to reconcile. I don’t know why she dislikes me so other than she said I was mean to her growing up (which I don’t remember doing anything terribly wrong – I am approximately 6 years older) – I told her we are adults now and that that was in the past and we should just move on.
The only time I would see or talk to her was when I went to our parents home but now both are deceased. We just finished settling my father’s estate (he passed away last year) so feel now we won’t have any contact. I’ve told her I would like to be friends, to do things together (shopping, etc.) but she said we were never close so she doesn’t miss it. I know I can’t force her to want to be close but, nevertheless, it bothers me – we have no other siblings. Her husband will call occasionally and stop over but never my sister.
I was ill recently and my brother-in-law contacted me and offered to mow my lawn as I could not. Before he left, he told me that my sister did not know he was doing this and that if she found out, she would get angry at him so I shouldn’t mention it if she happened to call. When we do see each other she is civil but cold. (She told my daughter I intimidate her…) I don’t know how to resolve this within myself or what action I should take. Can you please help?