I have difficulties with Day 3 of the relationship workshop

If I let my Boyfriend be what he is, what would he do ? be ?
==> I am trying to be factual but I am not sure to do it right.
If I am factual (have diner with friends, do the laundry, not write any paper…) I feel too shadow .
But if I go deeper, I feel judgmental.

Can you help me with that ?