Could you clarify something from the model call on relationships? It is about the question from the girl whose boyfriend doesn’t speak. My husband is very much the same although he just doesn’t talk much at all, ever. I find our life very unfulfilling because when I try to initiate conversation with him it doesn’t go anywhere. We spend a lot of time silently existing together but not connecting with each other. I work from home and he is retired. We can literally go for hours without saying one word to each other. Or I will say something innocuous to him, perhaps about something I read, and he answers with one word or even a grunt. We don’t ever fight or really have cross words. This is a fairly new second marriage for me. He was much more talkative when we were dating. I do understand after 3 years that this is who he is and he is not going to change.

I am new to SCS (joined this month) so my question to you is, if I am not finding any enjoyment in my relationship, am I supposed to love him unconditionally anyway and just exist with him and find my fulfillment outside of my marriage? And really for any relationship, where does compatibility and mutual enjoyment and fulfillment come in? If the purpose is to love everyone unconditionally, can we pick and choose who is in our life? I am confused about this.