Relationships


I have been listening to your podcast since October 2016 and joined SCS this month. You have given me really valuable tools and insight. I found the podcast at a time when my emotional eating was getting out of control. I tried many diets and always failed. I was starting to lose hope with how helpless I felt. After listening to your podcast, my eyes were opened to the fact that emotions can’t hurt me and I need to start experiencing them. I still have a lot of work to do but I finally feel like I have tools that will help me.

Another area I struggle in is relationships – I am perpetually single. I used to think thoughts like “All the good guys are taken”, “Who would want to be with me?” and “The only guys who show interest in me are the deadbeat losers”. I have changed my inner mantra about men and have started to see some positive changes (but am still single). I still have a lot of work to do on myself though. My question is – do I need to focus on myself and truly love myself before I am ready to be in a healthy relationship? I’ve read just about every self help book on this subject and they always emphasize “you must love yourself before anyone else can truly love you”. Part of me thinks I’m using that mindset as an excuse to not put myself out there and actively pursue a relationship. While I truly want to be in a healthy, loving relationship, being single is easy for me and my comfort zone. I find myself saying, “Work on yourself first, then you will be ready for a relationship”. Am I just making excuses so I can stay in my comfort zone?

Thank you so much for any insight.