Relentless urge

So I know that my urge persists because I am resisting it. I need some help.

I had a crazy busy day. After work, I wanted to eat off my protocol. The thought driving that urge was “I just need a break”. That’s the thought driving many of my urges.

It went like this:

C Tired after work
T “I just need a break”
F Urge
A Try to eat off meal plan, but Walgreens didn’t have the cookies I wanted so I just resisted the urge and hoped it would pass.
R Spending evening resisting urge, doing “stuff” but feeling crappy tired and headache.

Now my circumstance is “resisting urge”

C Resisting urge
T When is this ever gonna go away? I hate this.
F Uncomfortable
A Writhe in discomfort
R Don’t process urge

But I don’t know where to start. Because on one hand I know there’s more to this urge. I also feel bad about being single and discouraged about dating. I feel like I’m getting older and it bothers me. I feel like I’m missing out on life. It’s those relentless thoughts I “need a break” from. I really do feel like I need a break from life. If it’s not with food, it’s with something else. Just *something* to relieve this relentless feeling of pressure.

This is the story of my life. I don’t want to continue resisting the urges. I feel like I just don’t know how to process it.